Readers,
I am writing with good news. Recently, I found a very soft voice inside of myself. It was kind, gentle, reassuring, encouraging, loving…I could really go on and on. The bible talks about the still small voice, and I wondered if it was Him. You know it all comes down to believing. And, I believe that the Holy Spirit came into contact with another version of myself that lives deep inside of me.
It’s the mature me, the healed me, the confident and sure me, the repentant me, and the me that is full of understanding and grace. I discovered her because I was slipping into some negative thoughts, and I heard the voice say “It’s okay…your feelings are valid…no need to lean into that…you know better now.” The voice rocked me between the tension between my old self and the new me trying desperately to show up better in all aspects.
How did I find her? I credit my life coach, honestly. I met a woman roughly a year ago who opened the door to finding myself. I realized that I didn’t really like myself, and my thoughts were swirling with my inner critic. She taught me that whenever statements in my mind begin with “you” then typically they were accusatory and not of truth. It took LOTS of practice to identify the voice. After identifying, I had to fight back with writing out lies vs. truth, writing down affirmations, and even recording myself saying good things about myself. There were mornings where I listened to the recording for strength. Those exercises opened the door to me finding her.
I recognize that there's a lot of language out there about self-love and finding yourself. But, it really comes down to identity. Who you are and who you want to be. What do you value and why. What's in your family lineage, and how do you embrace or reject that. Most importantly, what did you believe? We have to interrogate ourselves in order to lead lives of purpose. I believe the core of our identity is the foundation of everything. Lucky for me, my father in Heaven has identified me as his child here on Earth. I love that I have a God that has marked my path and cares deeply about me.
Back to my voice. I’m so glad I found her. She’s tucked in there, and now I know to call on her continually. It’s when I’m full of joy, or frustrated, when I’m sad, or when I want to cuss. She’s a much more beautiful side of me, and I pray that everyone can find the space in their lives to find their inner voice too.
Edit on 4 Oct: I wrote this post early in the week, and I heard the wise words of Maya Angelou that cements the core of my post. Ms. Angelou talked about keeping a place inside of you "clean." She says it's a place where you keep inviolate. Now, I had to go and look up synonyms on this important word. Synonyms say: intact, pure, uninjured, or unbroken. Because, Ms. Angelou says in that "clean" place, that is where you may go to find God. How profound and beautiful is that. So, this post "She's in There" is the girl, the child, the woman who lives in that clean place that's my shelter and where everything I really am...resides.
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